Memories In The Mist

I remember standing in the middle of a road in the middle of nowhere. The mist had rolled in and was so thick one couldn't see the face of a person standing in front of you. I always loved the mist for it's mysterious nature. People say strange things happen in the mist, horror movies claim mystical monsters and vengeful ghost will come and kill those in their path. I don't think that at all. What lives in the mist for me is memories and not spirits, but the essences of those people who live on in those memories. These people are not dead, but many of them only exist for me in my memories. In the mist I saw a strange shape and as I approached it turned out to be a massive beautiful oak tree. As I sat under it I began to reflect on those people or essences who live on in my memories. I closed my eyes and began thinking of all the people who had changed my life in good ways and bad ways and slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up or maybe I was still in dreaming, but it doesn't really matter I was back under that oak tree in the middle of the mist. I thought of my best friend from kindergarten, my first crush, my first boss, my sister and my grandparents. The funny thing about memories is those you haven't seen in many years remain frozen in the age you last remember them in. They are truly immortal forever five years old, forever that innocent thirteen year old girl, living forever in that age only to you. I began to ponder what they'd look like today, if they were happy, how my life would have been different if I was still growing up with them. The harder I tried to imagine this the images of them in the mist slowly faded away disappearing into that mysterious abyss.

I woke up to the cries of my fiancee and her best friend yelling from the road through the mist calling to me.
"Timothy! Timothy! Where are you?"
"Over here under the tree I was just resting..."
"Well come on we are heading to town we're going to be late, you know we've got a lot to plan for the wedding and I've brought along Wendy to help us out with the cake and flowers."
"I know one second!"
I thought of all the people in my life the ones of my memories, the ones who taught me to care, to stand up for myself. As I began to walk through the mist towards the voice of my fiancee I looked back and saw the pretty eyes of that innocent thirteen year old girl. Forever thirteen only to me, the girl I hardly even remember her name, but always remember the eyes, the face, the long hair, the one who taught me to love. As I reached my fiancee and she took me into her arms I looked over her shoulder and saw the face of the girl smile as she slowly faded into the mist. That's the funny thing about memories and the mist for me, it's in these times that I feel I can live in both the past and present and as I saw the face of that girl disappear the only thing I could think of was all my life had offered me and all that would come. All those future people I didn't even know who would join the essences of the mist, most who I would never see but would live on forever, frozen, immortal only to me.

Inspiration For the Struggling Writer

I like the idea of a writer being haunted by his own creation, especially if the writer resents the way the character defines him.
Bret Easton Ellis

I wanna give you the world but for now I hope this'll do

This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner
This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner

Do you honestly believe I'd turn my back on you and leave my true love all alone in this cruel world?
When every single solitary day I do my best to secure a future for me and you girl
Cause it IS all about you, It's been all about you
Seconds feel like millenniums when I'm without you,
But my momma said there be days like this and ain't jack we can do
that's the way life is.

But it's been weeks since I felt your lips and I'm a fiend for my queen so I need a fix,
Only for now I'll settle for these talks on the phone,
But I cut my arm off for a moment alone,
With the one that I cherish whether in Rome or Paris, Amsterdam or Japan,
Please note that I am thinkin' bout my baby as much as humanly possible,
An' I know you're frustrated cause life has too many obstacles

This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner
This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner

My dear my dear my dear I know you're lonely
An' I know very well that it's hard and it hurts but there's no need to cry,
Cause I will be home soon and there ain't no limit to the things that we goin' do,
Whatever you want name it and I'll make it reality,
To see my baby's face nothin' means more then that for me.
This is far from flattery I ain't trying to impress you,
truth is I miss you and I'm hurtin' internally,
Sometimes these long trips feel like eternity,
But they say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
And in this case it's proven to be fact,
So I'll be back like a T100.

From blocks away you will see me comin',
With the biggest smile you ever seen on my face,
Cause even the toughest man on the planet needs lovin',
There's nothin' tame the wild like a woman's embrace.

This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner
This is for the things I don't say enough,
Waiting for the day we touch
Your lips to mine eclipse solar lunar
I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner

Feels like it's been forever and I can't wait to see ya,
It's like wit' Bonnie and Clyde, Tony and Maria,
Romeo and Juliet, Akeem, Alicia.
Basically inseparable and it's more then sexual.

Withstand every shell Tell me don't you like the sound of that?
Got my heart racing an about to have a heart attack
Wantin' to be loved by you just you.
Theres nobody loves you like I do
And I ain't scared to show it
but these feelings are hard to put into words
and I'm a poet slash MC
So give me credit for expressing them
because writin' this was more nervous then I ever been

I had to get it out for when I'm unable to sit wit' you,
You have a little song that I wrote for you to listen to,
So you know the way that you're missin' me I'm missin you.
I wanna give you the world but for now I hope this'll do.

Long Distance Relationships And Sex

People always tell me when I say I have a girlfriend and she lives in Mexico, "Oh my I don't know how you do it? It must be so hard being apart and not getting that physical interaction!" The thing most people forget is that yes it's true many long distance relationships fail, (maybe 90%) but 90% of relationships in general fail, that's why the only ones that last usually end in marriage. My theory is that most people date because they think they should and they need an outlet for all those physical hormones.

To quote Irvine Welsh about relationships:
'The thing is thit thir's guan oot n gaun oot. Sometimes whin ye say yir 'gaun oot' wi somebody it jist means thit yir ridin thum. Other times it's a bit like 'gaun steady'. That's fuckin daft, like ye wire gaun crooked before. Thir's birds ye go oot wi, n thir's ones ye jist ride'
Terry Lawson from the novel Glue

So why do people waste time in relationships they know won't last, I think it's all about the sex and a way to try and get some false sense of being wanted or loved. Or maybe they just need the feeling like a drug.

A quote from Chuck Palahniuk explains this theory:
'Sex addicts are really addicted to the endorphines, not the sex. Sex addicts have lower natural levels of monoamine oxidase. Sex addicts really crave the peptide phenylethylamine that might by triggered by danger, by infatuation, by risk or fear.
For a sex addict, your tits, your dick, your clit or tongue or asshole is like a shot of heroin, always there, always ready to use. Nico and I love each other as much as any junkie loves his fix.'
Victor Mancini from the novel Choke

So why do people always suffer from the "one who got away" I think it's because at the time they were too young and dumb to realize they let their chemical urges distract them from what's really important about relationships.

Of course this is too hard to explain to a person who asks me that question so I usually just reply "I dunno it's not as bad as you would think."

So in general the point is that most long distance relationships fail because the people in them realize they were only together for sexual desires, the reason I stay in mine is because I know that you can fuck anybody with a vagina, but you can only truly connect with one person. In fact I have it easy I get to live my own life and have all the deep conversations I want thanks to technology and those few times we can be together until we can be together forever everytime is like living it all for the first time.

Dan Abnormal Interviews The Immortal Man

Dan: So sir, how does it feel to be the first man in the history of the world to be immortal?

Immortal Man: Well it feels good you know I mean it's not easy the ritual is quite rigorous and stressing on one's mentality.

Dan: I imagine so I mean is it really true you had to abduct 500 virgin young women and literally bathe in their blood?

Immortal Man: Yes that's correct the selection process wasn't the hardest part, I sought out various women between the ages of 10 and 15 and used a collection of Jonas Brothers CD's and promises of a fake concert to lure them to my house where I later gassed them and kept them in an industrial freezer until that fateful night of the full moon when I could commence the rest of the ritual.

Dan: My, my don't you think the families of all the departed girls will be sad to lose their daughters and even seek justice for their deaths?

Immortal Man: Indeed Dan, that was tricky living in a world with such quick response police force and judicial systems I knew I had to complete the second part of the ritual quickly.

Dan: Yes please do tell us...

Immortal Man: Well upon thawing out the bodies of the girls I proceeded to slice all vital arteries and drain their blood into a mini pool I had in my backyard, it was rather gruesome and tiresome but you know after the 200th girl or so the disturbing elements on my psyche had passed. I then pulled out my ancient book for the ritual of immortality and read the sacred lines as the bodies of the girls burned beneath the pool of blood heating it up and under the crisp night of that fateful full moon I felt myself changing. Just as the swarms of FBI and police stormed my house they were too late I was immortal and you know Dan it felt good...

Dan: So you were indeed caught and what as the punishment for such a horrendous crime?

Immortal Man: Well you know Dan the police were not prepared to witness such a horrible ritual and opened fire on me only to discover I could not be killed the only thing they could do was sentence me to 500 life sentences, but you know Dan...in the long run being immortal I have all of eternity to look forward so in mortal eyes that seems like forever but for me it's just a blink of an eye. A small price to pay for the ability to watch society and our planet change and evolve, to be a part of and witness the rest of history in the making.

Dan: Oh...yes that sounds great yeah....

Immortal Man: Why wouldn't you enjoy that yourself??

Dan: Sure, sure it's just didn't you hear?

Immortal Man: No what do you mean?

Dan: Yeah the world is gonna end in 2012 anyways if not by some zombie apocalypse, global warming, nuclear holocaust or massive disease epidemics either mankind as we know it is over 2012. So basically we've got a little more than 2 1/2 years left to enjoy life, too bad you've got to be in jail for the rest of it...and really you cannot be killed in any way?

Immortal Man: Yes...yes it's true...

Dan: You know that sucks my friend to forever be the last man alive forced to live eternity in the aftermath of the end of the world, in fact with the proceeds form this interview I'm using the money to retire and spend the last of my years on my own personal island. But hey you've got eternity right?

Immortal Man: Yeah...ahhhh god dammit....

The Art Musuem From Hell...

Foreigners To The Rescue Of Cinematic Vampires?

Throughout recent years I have always been a fan of the horror genre in films and especially films which deal with my favorite groups of the undead; vampires and zombies. However to my dismay I've noticed a steady sharp decline in the amount and quality of both films, but now zombies are on their way back to the top however vampires are still suffering and have even lost their terrifying nature due to Stephanie Meyer and her Twilight series. The last fairly decent vampire film I had seen was "30 Days of Night" yet since then it has been all about Twilight and slowly our youth is forgetting the true nature of the vampire. There is hope my friends for our creatures of the night! Thanks to Tomas Alfredson of Sweden releasing his recent film "Let the Right One In" and the upcoming South Korean film "Thirst" by Chan-wook Park I finally am seeing that perhaps it is the foreign sector which bring back that powerful dark punch that vampires once had on the silver screen. Though sadly many Americans will not see these films originally I am sure they will watch the remakes which is the American way. Let the Right One In already has a remake in progress and I am sure shortly following the release of Thirst Americans will steal that one too. Until then do your part watch these movies and make at least one smartass remark to anyone caught reading or watching anything that has to do with Twilight.

The Origin Of The Knock-Knock Joke

Thoughts on Groupwork

Having spent the last 9 months of my youthful life here in the lovely city of Monterrey I have also been studying at Tec De Monterrey. I find most of my courses mildly amusing, however I discovered something interesting about them. Many classes here heavily encourage group work. Now I am currently in my 17th year of education (perhaps 19th if you count the extra year of kindergarten and pre-school) and in all my years I have always found the idea of "group" work to be like the idea of "communism" only good on paper or in theory. At least here in Tec the idea of groupwork is so heavily prevelant because the administrators believe it will encourage students to become more social which will in theory better prepare them for the professional working world where groupwork is a common practice.

Though here is my dilemma and critique of groupwork. In general I have found two common outcomes with teamwork and that is:

1) a few members of the group do most of the work while the others do nothing and all receive the same grade for unequal shares of work.

2) the teammates take a large assignment and divide it into smaller portions in which all team members then proceed to do their small portion and later bring all the pieces together in a small team member shortly before the due date.

I am not saying that the chance of a group actually working together throughout the entire process as a true group and everyone doing their equal part is not possible it's just not that likely. In the end the first outcome only seeks to teach hardworking students that their work is in vain because lazy people will take the credit and it teaches lazy people to just pass their work off on others and take the credit for it. The next outcome is just ironic because in the end the "group" is doing the work independently and the only outcome of making it a group assignment was to make it possible to take a large independent project into something much easier and smaller. However both outcomes do not promote the ideals those who believe in groupwork are striving for. For this reason I think groupwork in general is just silly...

Fishsticks vs. Fishdicks

Having watched the newest episode of South Park entitled Fishsticks and learning the following joke:

Person 1: Hello (Insert Name) Do you like fishsticks?
Person 2: Why yes I love them!
Person 1: Do you like to put fishsticks in your mouth?
Person 2: Why yes I do!
Person 1: What are you a gayfish!??

Indeed the joke was quite clever and I find myself not able to say the word fishstick without hearing fishdick and it does make me wonder how many other words exist like this that I have just not noticed their closer similarity to other funny phrases like this. So indeed I fear for the rest of my life though I did not eat many fishsticks (i don't really like fish in general) i will forever think of them as like hotdogs another food that resembles a penis and will truly feel like a gayfish when I do eat them.